Reasons You Can’t Get A Girlfriend

woman saying no

On average, there are 86 single men to every 100 single women.  Yet, even with those odds, many men still have trouble finding a partner. But why are you one of them? Here are some Reasons You Can’t Get A Girlfriend.


  • Your best friend is a 13-year-old kid you only know from playing “Call of Duty” online.
  • You have the gift of being able to talk to a woman for hours.  About “Glee”.
  • You’ve got the moves like Jagger. But you’ve got the body odour of Keith Richards.
  • Your idea of splashing out on dinner is to super-size.
  • The mullet has never let you down in 30 years and you’re sticking with it.
  • There are lots of fun games which can break the ice on a first date.  But, “Guess the Weight of My Scrotum” isn’t one of them.
  • Take a look at yourself in the mirror.  There ya go.
  • You just asked the guy at Sunglass Hut which pair of Ray-Bans most effectively draws attention away from a 22-inch unibrow.
  • Like you’re really going to waste time going out and trying to meet women, when any second now, Marvel could release yet another “Making of Iron Man 3” documentary.
  • As crazy as it may seem, you actually enjoy being happy.
  • You had one, but her account just suddenly vanished when the internet accused her of faking cancer.
  • Your lack of income is only matched by your lack of hair.
  • Your mum doesn’t let you take girls down to the basement.
Neal Mayhem
By Neal Mayhem

2 Responses to Reasons You Can’t Get A Girlfriend

  1. Jess Stratton says:

    Third from the bottom. Love it!