10 Movies Ruined By Urban Dictionary (NSFW!)

Some innocent pineapple rings

Some innocent pineapple rings

The Urban Dictionary ( http://www.urbandictionary.com ) offers a wide variety of alternate meanings for words that make everyday conversations a nightmare of double entendres and potential filth. So, bearing that in mind, let’s go to the movies with a quick detour via the gutter…

It goes without saying that this might just be NSFW. You might want to down a few pints of mind bleach afterwards too.

1. Pacific Rim
The Movie – A glorious popcorn-fuelled mash up of Godzilla and Transformers with giant robots kicking the fluorescent shit out of big monsters. In the rain.
Urban Dictionary – Pacific Rim
“Placing a slice of pineapple over the anus of another person, then eating out that person’s ass.”

2. Jaws
The Movie – A pesky rubber shark invents the summer blockbuster by mucking about with people whose boats are too small for their requirements.
Urban Dictionary – Jaws
“Crab walking around naked with a hard on while singing the Jaws theme song.”

3. Tron
The Movie – Ground-breaking computer nonsense featuring grown men throwing frisbees at each other inside virtual reality before anyone knew what that was.
Urban Dictionary – Tron
” To walk in front of someone whilst passing gas, causing them to unwittingly walk into the fart trail.”

4. The Exorcist
The Movie – The devil possesses a young girl, who proceeds to cover some priests in pea soup whilst using language that would make Gordon Ramsey blush.
Urban Dictionary - The Exorcist
” The act of vomitting in a girls vagina while eating her out from consuming too much alcohol.”

5. The Elephant Man
The Movie – The true-life tale of a hideously deformed man with elephant-like features.
Urban Dictionary -The Elephant Man
“An act where a male lays his sack across the eyes of a person, a ball in each eye socket and then bends his penis causing a “C” shape. Then inserting it in their nose/mouth depending on the gender of the victim causing the appearance of a elephant trunk.”

6. Top Gun
The Movie – Tom Cruise flies a fighter jet about and does a fair bit of topless volleyball in what is basically gay soft porn.
Urban Dictionary – Top Gun
“Having a girl ride your face ‘cowgirl-style’ while simultaneously using your penis as a joystick.”

7. The Great Escape
The Movie – Classic WW2 prison escape shenanigans where all the awesome British actors die and Steve McQueen jumps over a fence.
Urban Dictionary – The Great Escape
“Once you are finished having sex and the girl goes to wash up, you grab your stuff and run away.”

8. Sleeping Beauty
The Movie – Lovely Disney movie about a princess who hurts her finger and falls asleep before a prince comes along and gives her a kiss of true love.
Urban Dictionary – Sleeping Beauty
“The act of jizzing on someone’s eyes in their sleep. The recipient will either a) wake up hours later with their eyes crusted over with semen or b) wake up shortly afterwards wondering what is in their eyes and smear it around their face with their hands.”

9. The Lion King
The Movie – Disney epic charting the coming of age of a lion cub as he struggles to save his pride from his evil uncle. Stars Darth Vader as a cloud.
Urban Dictionary – The Lion King
” The act of ejaculating on your partners face, then taking your right thumb and smearing the semen from left to right across their forehead and saying in a Rafiki-like voice, “Simmbaaa”.”

10. Dirty Harry
The Movie – Clint Eastwood defines the term ‘badass’ as he chases baddies and tests them on their bullet counting skills.
Urban Dictionary – Dirty Harry
“a sexual manoeuvre whereby a man and woman are having sex doggie style and the man as he is about to climax pulls out and fakes his orgasm by spitting hot saliva on the woman’s back, the woman then thinking the man is done turns around only to have the man’s load blown in her face.”

Al Terry
By Al Terry

One Response to 10 Movies Ruined By Urban Dictionary (NSFW!)

  1. Christine Rose Infanger says:

    I think I'm far more confused by #5 than I should be.

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